Sunny Days

....and the warmth of the sun from the balcony feels so wonderful on my face.

Due to circumstances beyond her control, HRG finds her gardening will be limited to cleaning the balcony today. TCB is home sick again...sigh.....

I'm a combination of worried and a bit pissed. Pissed because I remember hauling my sick self to work, sucking it up and getting through the day. Pull yourself together and try to get through. He's missed quite a few days work now, and there's that small part of me worried that he'll lose his job. Fear and Doubt still lurk about, looking for buttons to push. Every now and again one or both of them find the "past baggage" button and lean on it. Hard.

I'm also worried that something might really be wrong, yet in typical male fashion, actually going to a clinic to see someone would be an admission of less-than-maleness. He did get a family doctor which is a step in the right direction. But babies, his appointment isn't for ten days. MachoStudCoolGuy stuff wears thin after awhile. (no, I won't see a doctor because I'm too cool--I'll lay on the couch and whine instead) I'm trying to be as caring and understanding as I can be, but boy, sometimes it's tough.

I'm sure it doesn't help him either, my being a complete bitch most of the day yesterday and again this morning when he came home. I know where it's coming from--seems F&D Inc (which is how Fear and Doubt shall be forever known) have stumbled upon a bunch of buttons, accessible from inside or out. The big red "easy" button seems to be their current favorite. Suddenly, my ability to turn it into a joke to avoid the hollywood moment is gone. Witty sarcasms now sound mean. I'm working on it.

That said, does that mean that I'm not allowed to call him on stuff? Like packing my yoga mat even though I asked (nicely I might add) no less than SIX times for it to be left where it was. No, the screaming raving bitch that used to be employed by F&D Inc. doesn't work here anymore, thankfully. Something about her going out to get toner one day and never coming back. At least that's what her Uncle Jimmy DaFish said. Anyway, over-reacting didn't happen, even when the words "so what?" were dropped.

Marital bliss. And I can hear you both laughing now.

Funny thing, the move Saturday went well. We passed the test with flying colors! Not a cross word between us.

Go figure.

HRG