Happy Almost New Year's my babies! Are all of you making your resolutions? I think we should all resolve to be a little kinder to the people who love us, to stop acting like spoiled children when we don't get our own way and have an appreciation for those who do the best they can with what they have. A little kindness and the words "thank you" go a very long way.
The year should end on a positive note, so let's look at the positive things that happened this year.......
Mystery Mama's visit and having HB back in my life top the list. MM's visit wasn't nearly long enough, but the casserole made up for it. To see HB again, hug her so tight and have that feeling that all was on it's way to be right again was so incredibly awesome. It brought a happiness I haven't felt in a very very long time.
Spending the summer exploring with TCB. While the weather wasn't always wonderful, it seemed to be warm and sunny on the days we did go exploring. We survived our first real argument, kissed and made up and let it go. The positive there? Learning that we can be adults and not fight like children. Resolve the issue, put it behind you and move on. Who knew?
Being welcomed back into the music fold. After being told for so many years that I wasn't welcomed or particularly well-liked by them, imagine my surprise to learn that it wasn't like that at all!
Being approached to start a new music project for the new year--maybe I'll actually get to use that cordless now. I like that.
And finally......
Knowing how blessed I am to have such loving people in my life. Friends, old and new bring more comfort than they could possibly ever know.
So my babies, thank you for another year of reading and hopefully enjoying the posts of a wing-nut.
Let's all take the warm fuzzies with us into 2008, and wake up tomorrow knowing that somewhere, someone does think about us and smile.
It's how my day will start.
HRG
Monday, December 31, 2007
Sunday, December 30, 2007
Another Year Packs A Suitcase
...and gets ready to leave a mess to a younger, fresher year. Here's hoping a younger set of eyes and ears will bring good changes. Maybe these changes will bring home the thousands who are wondering why they're separated from their families because some moron decided he wanted more oil and couldn't get away with invading Canada. Dare we be optimistic and see a shift in how we treat our planet and each other? I've always maintained it takes two generations for change. Can we see the changes now, in our children? I hope so. If not, then......I shudder to think of the consequences. Have enough of us paid attention to what was happening and educated our own enough to want to make a change? Or, has the pendulum swung too far, and have we raised a generation of self-centered, expecting instant gratification future conservatives/republicans? Could we break with tradition and stand with our offspring, demanding change, or has the belief that a global peaceful co-existence is possible become as unbelievable as Santa Clause or the Easter Bunny? Can we be that skeptical?
The PollyAnna in me hopes not. Will there be room for idealism in the new year? The PollyAnna in me hopes so.
As always, it's been an interesting year. So many changes, some of them good, some of them....well.....you know.
Because we should end the year on a positive note, let's get the sad things into their boxes first. Marked clearly, they will be disposed of, never to return. It's important to let go of all that before the new year begins. There should be no room for sadness, regret or what-might've-been. It's too easy to carry all that baggage with you into the new year--have you noticed that when you do the next year's luggage seems to weigh more?
Things to let go of:
Krusty. My best friend since Y2K. I miss him and always will. No box for him though. Those memories are best tossed to the wind.
DTVCB and his trusty sidekick, the HeadHo. They're adults and make their own choices. They go into a bright shiny box because I wish them well. Dusting off those memories from time to time will be a nice stroll down memory lane.
The stress and disappointment in my job. Some things can be changed, some things will never change. It's my choice not to let my new year begin with negativity and constant threats. I have to learn from, then let go of damage caused by someone who I really should've fired months ago. To allow her unhappiness seep in and take root is wrong on so many levels. She will always carry her baggage, the set growing larger every year. Time to take back the power inadvertently given her and get on with my own life.
Let's bury that box so deep in the earth's crust that only ashes will be found by civilizations a million years in the future.
No music. I miss playing. This goes into the same box as.......
The disappointment in being given a cordless microphone for xmas from TCB. While I understand (sort of ) his line of thinking, it wasn't what I'd wanted at all, and feels a bit like a slap in the face--a reminder of all the gigs we're not playing, so "here's something for you to look at to remind you that you're not the woman you professed to be". That box, big and shiny, goes to the back of the closet.
The sadness of knowing that while TCB does love me, he'll never love me enough to make the "big" commitment. He said it, then he took it back. HRG shall put that huge disappointment into a box, weigh it down and drop it into the water, never to be seen or heard from again.
Know what babies? Those are really all the things that need to be boxed up and put away.
For now though, TCB is up and personal time to write is over.
Stayed tuned for tomorrow's list of all the wonderful things that happened this year and predictions for what lies ahead. The writers in Hollywood may be on strike, but I'm not.
I can feel you all shivering with anticipation now.
HRG
The PollyAnna in me hopes not. Will there be room for idealism in the new year? The PollyAnna in me hopes so.
As always, it's been an interesting year. So many changes, some of them good, some of them....well.....you know.
Because we should end the year on a positive note, let's get the sad things into their boxes first. Marked clearly, they will be disposed of, never to return. It's important to let go of all that before the new year begins. There should be no room for sadness, regret or what-might've-been. It's too easy to carry all that baggage with you into the new year--have you noticed that when you do the next year's luggage seems to weigh more?
Things to let go of:
Krusty. My best friend since Y2K. I miss him and always will. No box for him though. Those memories are best tossed to the wind.
DTVCB and his trusty sidekick, the HeadHo. They're adults and make their own choices. They go into a bright shiny box because I wish them well. Dusting off those memories from time to time will be a nice stroll down memory lane.
The stress and disappointment in my job. Some things can be changed, some things will never change. It's my choice not to let my new year begin with negativity and constant threats. I have to learn from, then let go of damage caused by someone who I really should've fired months ago. To allow her unhappiness seep in and take root is wrong on so many levels. She will always carry her baggage, the set growing larger every year. Time to take back the power inadvertently given her and get on with my own life.
Let's bury that box so deep in the earth's crust that only ashes will be found by civilizations a million years in the future.
No music. I miss playing. This goes into the same box as.......
The disappointment in being given a cordless microphone for xmas from TCB. While I understand (sort of ) his line of thinking, it wasn't what I'd wanted at all, and feels a bit like a slap in the face--a reminder of all the gigs we're not playing, so "here's something for you to look at to remind you that you're not the woman you professed to be". That box, big and shiny, goes to the back of the closet.
The sadness of knowing that while TCB does love me, he'll never love me enough to make the "big" commitment. He said it, then he took it back. HRG shall put that huge disappointment into a box, weigh it down and drop it into the water, never to be seen or heard from again.
Know what babies? Those are really all the things that need to be boxed up and put away.
For now though, TCB is up and personal time to write is over.
Stayed tuned for tomorrow's list of all the wonderful things that happened this year and predictions for what lies ahead. The writers in Hollywood may be on strike, but I'm not.
I can feel you all shivering with anticipation now.
HRG
Sunday, December 23, 2007
The Full Moon
....tends to bring out the semi-mental fool in me. In all of us.
Yes. Yes it does.
Life has been clipping along at it's light speed pace. As always, work is a nightmare. Hours are long, nerves are frayed and at least three of us are questioning our career goals. A decision I thought easy is turning out not to be, the crossroads loom and I can't find a coin to toss.
Each year is, I'm learning, about change, letting go and moving on. Sometimes that's easy to do, sometimes it's not. Strings fray, slowly moving apart until one day they're snipped away. It's not fair though, when the string is cut and you're not the one holding the scissors.
The loss of three friendships this year weigh heavy on my heart. Krusty has to face his own demons, it was time to let go and see if the bond we'd formed over the years would hold on its own. It didn't. I miss him. The easiness of the friendship, the musical partnership, all that. But you know, like the song I'm listening to says "fate has a way of changing, just when you don't want it to".
As for the other two, well, I'm not sure exactly why that happened. And I probably never will. To the one who pouted over something that was supposed to be a nice SURPRISE--I'll miss our long lunches, debates and general whining about life, love, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. but really, get over it. And to his trusty sidekick--you are an adult, capable of making your own choices and decisions, you CHOSE not to call while Mystery Mama was here. At any point you could have picked up the phone and made contact. Unless you're a teenager and grounded from the phone, there's no excuse really.
As you head into the new year, ask yourselves if ending long term friendships was worth it.
I don't think it was.
HRG
Yes. Yes it does.
Life has been clipping along at it's light speed pace. As always, work is a nightmare. Hours are long, nerves are frayed and at least three of us are questioning our career goals. A decision I thought easy is turning out not to be, the crossroads loom and I can't find a coin to toss.
Each year is, I'm learning, about change, letting go and moving on. Sometimes that's easy to do, sometimes it's not. Strings fray, slowly moving apart until one day they're snipped away. It's not fair though, when the string is cut and you're not the one holding the scissors.
The loss of three friendships this year weigh heavy on my heart. Krusty has to face his own demons, it was time to let go and see if the bond we'd formed over the years would hold on its own. It didn't. I miss him. The easiness of the friendship, the musical partnership, all that. But you know, like the song I'm listening to says "fate has a way of changing, just when you don't want it to".
As for the other two, well, I'm not sure exactly why that happened. And I probably never will. To the one who pouted over something that was supposed to be a nice SURPRISE--I'll miss our long lunches, debates and general whining about life, love, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. but really, get over it. And to his trusty sidekick--you are an adult, capable of making your own choices and decisions, you CHOSE not to call while Mystery Mama was here. At any point you could have picked up the phone and made contact. Unless you're a teenager and grounded from the phone, there's no excuse really.
As you head into the new year, ask yourselves if ending long term friendships was worth it.
I don't think it was.
HRG
Two more sleeps
Merry Christmas my babies! Two more sleeps and then there's presents! We gave in, bought one of those "gee, it almost looks real from this angle" trees. Actually, in the right light it doesn't look too bad at all. It's kinda pretty and all that.
And did I mention there's presents?
One big heavy one is for me.
I can't sleep.
Will Santa EVER get here?
HRG
And did I mention there's presents?
One big heavy one is for me.
I can't sleep.
Will Santa EVER get here?
HRG
Monday, December 10, 2007
A Serious Post
Let's take a break from my usual "why isn't my life going the way I want it to go?" posts for a moment shall we?
Because babies, we are still alive and breathing.
Unlike at least 26 women who lived on the Lower Mainland. The number is 26, but you know, there are actually 65 women missing and unaccounted for. 65. That's a number that should indicate retirement age, not missing women.
When we as Canadians think of serial killers, we think of names like Ted Bundy, John Wayne Gacy and those who belong to their "sick fuckers" club. After all, this is Canada. This kind of thing doesn't happen here.
It does happen here. It did happen here. We can't turn our noses up at other countries anymore, smug in our goodness. Those kinds of people live here too.
Not long ago I overheard a conversation between two women--I wanted to bitch slap the smugness off both their faces. The gist of their discussion was that the dead women deserved to die. After all, look at their lifestyles.
What the fuck? Since when does being a junkie and a prostitute mean you DESERVE to be tortured, butchered and fed to pigs? These women had families who loved them, they had names, faces...... The evidence was sickening, yet the families were there every day, never letting anyone forget that the names were attached to real women.
Today everyone rejoices because justice has been served. No it hasn't. Pickton (and those who helped him commit these atrocities) are still alive and breathing. Our tax dollars will help pay for his appeals, keep him housed and fed and clothed for at least the next 25 years.
If you want justice, put him in regular prison population. We don't have a death penalty here, but oddly enough, prisoners have their own code of ethics. I say let them mete out the punishment. Vigilante justice? Maybe.
Because the only person who deserves to be tortured and murdered sits in a jail cell today, awaiting a meeting with his court appointed lawyer......
And he wears a shiny new badge.
It reads "Sick Fuckers Club".
HRG
Because babies, we are still alive and breathing.
Unlike at least 26 women who lived on the Lower Mainland. The number is 26, but you know, there are actually 65 women missing and unaccounted for. 65. That's a number that should indicate retirement age, not missing women.
When we as Canadians think of serial killers, we think of names like Ted Bundy, John Wayne Gacy and those who belong to their "sick fuckers" club. After all, this is Canada. This kind of thing doesn't happen here.
It does happen here. It did happen here. We can't turn our noses up at other countries anymore, smug in our goodness. Those kinds of people live here too.
Not long ago I overheard a conversation between two women--I wanted to bitch slap the smugness off both their faces. The gist of their discussion was that the dead women deserved to die. After all, look at their lifestyles.
What the fuck? Since when does being a junkie and a prostitute mean you DESERVE to be tortured, butchered and fed to pigs? These women had families who loved them, they had names, faces...... The evidence was sickening, yet the families were there every day, never letting anyone forget that the names were attached to real women.
Today everyone rejoices because justice has been served. No it hasn't. Pickton (and those who helped him commit these atrocities) are still alive and breathing. Our tax dollars will help pay for his appeals, keep him housed and fed and clothed for at least the next 25 years.
If you want justice, put him in regular prison population. We don't have a death penalty here, but oddly enough, prisoners have their own code of ethics. I say let them mete out the punishment. Vigilante justice? Maybe.
Because the only person who deserves to be tortured and murdered sits in a jail cell today, awaiting a meeting with his court appointed lawyer......
And he wears a shiny new badge.
It reads "Sick Fuckers Club".
HRG
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Scenes From A Kitchen Store
It plays out like this:
(tall, older man comes into store and approaches the counter)
"Good afternoon, how can I help you?"
"Yes, I was wondering if you stock......."
(at this point, the man's voice trails off for a moment, as if he'd lost his train of thought)
"No, not anymore, ever since the whole restraining order thing"
(with the play on words girl realizes what she's said is SO unprofessional, she gasps and actually BLUSHES)
"Oh, I am SO sorry, sometimes I should think before opening my mouth"
(girl is falling all over herself trying to find a way to diffuse what could become a very awkward moment)
(man is laughing hard now)
"No no no, don't be sorry, I like that quick wit--you just made my day".
(still laughing, man buys a set of glasses with a carafe. The good ones. Bormioli. Made in Italy. Hand blown.)
And that's one I can take credit for.
But I really do wish I'd written the cougar joke.....
HRG
(tall, older man comes into store and approaches the counter)
"Good afternoon, how can I help you?"
"Yes, I was wondering if you stock......."
(at this point, the man's voice trails off for a moment, as if he'd lost his train of thought)
"No, not anymore, ever since the whole restraining order thing"
(with the play on words girl realizes what she's said is SO unprofessional, she gasps and actually BLUSHES)
"Oh, I am SO sorry, sometimes I should think before opening my mouth"
(girl is falling all over herself trying to find a way to diffuse what could become a very awkward moment)
(man is laughing hard now)
"No no no, don't be sorry, I like that quick wit--you just made my day".
(still laughing, man buys a set of glasses with a carafe. The good ones. Bormioli. Made in Italy. Hand blown.)
And that's one I can take credit for.
But I really do wish I'd written the cougar joke.....
HRG
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
I Wish I Could Take Credit For This.....
....but I can't. It's too good not to share so here it is:
A cougar attacked a bicyclist today. Local Police are combing area bars looking for the assailant.
HRG
A cougar attacked a bicyclist today. Local Police are combing area bars looking for the assailant.
HRG
Monday, October 29, 2007
If It's Supposed To Feel So Right
....then, why oh why my babies, do I feel SO bad? It's nothing I can put my finger on really, just something inside that's reminding me all is not the paradise it seems, and sooner (rather than later) the walls are about to crash in, someone will pull the rug out from under HRG's feet. The fall will hurt.
Old fears? Perhaps. Old lessons learned? Probably. Thing is, I've ignored the warning signs before and we all know what happened. Talking it out with TCB isn't an option. In true male form, every subject, no matter how tactfully it's approached, is deemed an attack. So, the hurt feelings are swallowed. They taste bad. But all the same, to keep the peace, they must be digested and forgotten. They're never really forgotten though--this bad taste in my mouth reminds me of that. All of the time.
Haha--here's a neat little co-incidence. Harden My Heart just started playing. It's how I feel. Most of the time. I've let TCB closer than I've ever let anyone, now that I have, I'm wondering if it was the right thing to do. It's harder knowing that I'm sure about him, this, our lives together. He, on the other hand is not. I see it in his eyes when he looks at me. MM says I really should see the way TCB looks at me when I'm not looking. I want so desperately to believe that. Maybe if he'd let me see it firsthand....
Know something? It's the grey and rain and little sleep that has HRG feeling just a little too sorry for herself. Let's see if it's something a nap can't help.
It's my day off--it couldn't hurt.
And that's a good thing.
HRG
Old fears? Perhaps. Old lessons learned? Probably. Thing is, I've ignored the warning signs before and we all know what happened. Talking it out with TCB isn't an option. In true male form, every subject, no matter how tactfully it's approached, is deemed an attack. So, the hurt feelings are swallowed. They taste bad. But all the same, to keep the peace, they must be digested and forgotten. They're never really forgotten though--this bad taste in my mouth reminds me of that. All of the time.
Haha--here's a neat little co-incidence. Harden My Heart just started playing. It's how I feel. Most of the time. I've let TCB closer than I've ever let anyone, now that I have, I'm wondering if it was the right thing to do. It's harder knowing that I'm sure about him, this, our lives together. He, on the other hand is not. I see it in his eyes when he looks at me. MM says I really should see the way TCB looks at me when I'm not looking. I want so desperately to believe that. Maybe if he'd let me see it firsthand....
Know something? It's the grey and rain and little sleep that has HRG feeling just a little too sorry for herself. Let's see if it's something a nap can't help.
It's my day off--it couldn't hurt.
And that's a good thing.
HRG
Friday, October 19, 2007
Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic
....was the song that TCB had queued up when he picked up from work last nite. What does that mean? Why does it have to mean anything? Mystery Mama assures me daily that TCB does love me back. Spending some time with us let her see that and now she can (and regularly does) smack me upside the head when the whining begins. For that I am eternally grateful.
For being the sole head of reason, for being the wonderful and sweet friend that she is, for bringing two lifelong friends back together again, I am forever in her debt. I have missed BFH every single day for nine years. It always felt like a part of me was missing. It felt so good, so natural to reconnect--like all those years really hadn't gone by. This would have never happened if not for MM. Our lives are all so crazy right now, the bringing together of old friends was so important for all our souls. We needed each other. It's that simple. A number of people worked across borders to make this whole thing work. They have our love and gratitude.
MM had her very first ever Canadian Thanksgiving. We ate until we could barely move. Then we had pie. Oh and for the record, MM does indeed make the crack cocaine of casseroles! It was absolutely amazing. Wanna bet we could get her a work visa in 2.8 nanoseconds? All we'd have to do is feed the immigration officer some casserole and promise seconds if he'll just sign this little piece of paper.......
We spent lots of time together, shopped a bunch--MM helped pick out the sexiest dress for TCB's yearly office bash. It'll top last year's dress for sure.
It also means having to seriously work on the arm and back toning thing. Good incentive.
All in all we had fun. A nice grown up dinner for just the girls was mandatory and we did it in style. Let's face it ladies, we were the hottest chicks in the restaurant. Well, we were. It was a nice nite out. So good for all our souls to have a break and just enjoy ourselves and each other.
Because you see, in short, that's what this visit was all about. The people who love us are so thrilled to see us so happy again. It's a shame not everyone was able to see the forest for the trees and didn't get to share in our joy.
And that's all we need to say about that.
HRG
For being the sole head of reason, for being the wonderful and sweet friend that she is, for bringing two lifelong friends back together again, I am forever in her debt. I have missed BFH every single day for nine years. It always felt like a part of me was missing. It felt so good, so natural to reconnect--like all those years really hadn't gone by. This would have never happened if not for MM. Our lives are all so crazy right now, the bringing together of old friends was so important for all our souls. We needed each other. It's that simple. A number of people worked across borders to make this whole thing work. They have our love and gratitude.
MM had her very first ever Canadian Thanksgiving. We ate until we could barely move. Then we had pie. Oh and for the record, MM does indeed make the crack cocaine of casseroles! It was absolutely amazing. Wanna bet we could get her a work visa in 2.8 nanoseconds? All we'd have to do is feed the immigration officer some casserole and promise seconds if he'll just sign this little piece of paper.......
We spent lots of time together, shopped a bunch--MM helped pick out the sexiest dress for TCB's yearly office bash. It'll top last year's dress for sure.
It also means having to seriously work on the arm and back toning thing. Good incentive.
All in all we had fun. A nice grown up dinner for just the girls was mandatory and we did it in style. Let's face it ladies, we were the hottest chicks in the restaurant. Well, we were. It was a nice nite out. So good for all our souls to have a break and just enjoy ourselves and each other.
Because you see, in short, that's what this visit was all about. The people who love us are so thrilled to see us so happy again. It's a shame not everyone was able to see the forest for the trees and didn't get to share in our joy.
And that's all we need to say about that.
HRG
These Boots Were Made For Walkin'
...and that's just what they'll do. Why those boots (ok, so they were really running shoes, just taking a bit of artistic licence here..) walked 1,000,000 square feet and saw roughly a trillion new products. Of which exactly three were at all impressive. It felt a bit stale this time, or maybe it's because I'm not quite so starry-eyed and new at this. We did see some interesting things, found some new suppliers for a new product line, several very cute boys were mingling around.....yup, it wasn't too bad a trip after all. Just for the record, we really did walk one million square feet of the Congress Centre. Actually, we did that twice. We also spent a day at the International Centre, looking for that *wow* product. With no luck. The size of that building? Roughly 250,000, yes two hundred and fifty thousand, square feet.
And we saw The Nylons. They were so good! I'd forgotten my camera, so in between dinner, during the speeches (yawn), I dashed over to the hotel to get it. On the way out, who should be walking in the hall, microphones in hand but the road manager for them. I made apppropriate noises about the mics 'coz they were really cool. I want one. It's cordless, just think of the fun to be had...heh heh heh....He was a truly nice man, and The Nylons were very very good. Those harmonies are very difficult to do--add the whole a capella thing and they have earned my utmost respect. What was hilarious was watching a group of women who "rushed" the stage. Hell, my lack of gay-dar is well known and even I knew they were gay. The group, not the women. They seemed completely oblivious to the fact. And they were very very drunk. I'm sure somewhere out there, thanks to YouTube, some kid has his head in hands, mortified at seeing what his mother did at her "business" conference.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
the above was written August 19/07 after the tradeshow. don't know how it ended up in the drafts folder, but here it is.
And we saw The Nylons. They were so good! I'd forgotten my camera, so in between dinner, during the speeches (yawn), I dashed over to the hotel to get it. On the way out, who should be walking in the hall, microphones in hand but the road manager for them. I made apppropriate noises about the mics 'coz they were really cool. I want one. It's cordless, just think of the fun to be had...heh heh heh....He was a truly nice man, and The Nylons were very very good. Those harmonies are very difficult to do--add the whole a capella thing and they have earned my utmost respect. What was hilarious was watching a group of women who "rushed" the stage. Hell, my lack of gay-dar is well known and even I knew they were gay. The group, not the women. They seemed completely oblivious to the fact. And they were very very drunk. I'm sure somewhere out there, thanks to YouTube, some kid has his head in hands, mortified at seeing what his mother did at her "business" conference.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
the above was written August 19/07 after the tradeshow. don't know how it ended up in the drafts folder, but here it is.
Monday, October 01, 2007
Remember Me?
Wow, what a month or more it's been babies! Work has been an absolute nightmare, staffing issues have actually caused me to lose sleep. This is not a good thing. But, with a little bit of luck, it'll be worked out by the end of this week. That said, HRG is absolutely enjoying her first of two, count 'em, TWO, days off in a row. The busy season looms and the days will become one constant blur. This is a good thing. I love it when it's stupid busy. People stay off my ass then.This is also a good thing. But for today, I'm not gonna think about it. So far today has involved a four hour "nap", dinner has been planned, bread is rising....it feels good to putter.
Life has been a bit weird lately, but let's face it, it wouldn't be my life if it weren't, would it? I'm fighting old demons too, working hard to break the pattern of old learned behaviours. And old, very bad, habits. It's part of the reason I've been throwing myself into my work lately. Idle hands and all that. But you know babies, HRG has come a very long way. Those demons and dragons have been long slain....ok, most of them. I do love TCB more than I thought possible, screwing this up by listening to my hormones is not an option. Period.
Of course, we all know this is the "sabotage" stage. The "it-feels-way-too-damned-good-therefore-it-must-be-destroyed" phase. Self preservation is the hardest of the habits to break. I'm learning that passion is like food. That instant desire, the quick spark, is like fast food. Filling, but with no substance and cold in an instant. The looking at TCB, that warm, satisfied feeling is like a gourmet dinner. With dessert. Something you know you'll enjoy for a long time.
No, he still doesn't want to marry me. No, I'm still not ok with it. No, I am not going to whine about it anymore. You must be as sick of hearing it as I am of going on and on and on about it. If it changes, and that's pretty unlikely, you'll be the first to know. I promise. Between you and me though, I wouldn't hold my breath.
We did have the chance to actually, gasp! rehearse over the past while, learned some new songs, test drove them with much success at the Saturday afternoon jams and had fun. Krusty and I worked through our stuff, we're feeling far more comfortable together than we have in a long, long time, and it shows, especially on stage. TCB has found his groove with us, it's finally come together. Happily I can tell you that TCB and Krusty are getting along well. He's happy knowing that TCB is a good guy who treats me well. His living issues are more or less the same. That's a leopard who will never change her spots. He chooses to be there. And the beat goes on, but at least he looks better than he has in a very long time. It sure feels good to be playing again. Time to start lining up the gigs.
Before I toddle off, let me leave you with this:
A week from today is Thanksgiving. There is much to be thankful for.
And I think I've solved the TimBits dilemma.
HRG
Life has been a bit weird lately, but let's face it, it wouldn't be my life if it weren't, would it? I'm fighting old demons too, working hard to break the pattern of old learned behaviours. And old, very bad, habits. It's part of the reason I've been throwing myself into my work lately. Idle hands and all that. But you know babies, HRG has come a very long way. Those demons and dragons have been long slain....ok, most of them. I do love TCB more than I thought possible, screwing this up by listening to my hormones is not an option. Period.
Of course, we all know this is the "sabotage" stage. The "it-feels-way-too-damned-good-therefore-it-must-be-destroyed" phase. Self preservation is the hardest of the habits to break. I'm learning that passion is like food. That instant desire, the quick spark, is like fast food. Filling, but with no substance and cold in an instant. The looking at TCB, that warm, satisfied feeling is like a gourmet dinner. With dessert. Something you know you'll enjoy for a long time.
No, he still doesn't want to marry me. No, I'm still not ok with it. No, I am not going to whine about it anymore. You must be as sick of hearing it as I am of going on and on and on about it. If it changes, and that's pretty unlikely, you'll be the first to know. I promise. Between you and me though, I wouldn't hold my breath.
We did have the chance to actually, gasp! rehearse over the past while, learned some new songs, test drove them with much success at the Saturday afternoon jams and had fun. Krusty and I worked through our stuff, we're feeling far more comfortable together than we have in a long, long time, and it shows, especially on stage. TCB has found his groove with us, it's finally come together. Happily I can tell you that TCB and Krusty are getting along well. He's happy knowing that TCB is a good guy who treats me well. His living issues are more or less the same. That's a leopard who will never change her spots. He chooses to be there. And the beat goes on, but at least he looks better than he has in a very long time. It sure feels good to be playing again. Time to start lining up the gigs.
Before I toddle off, let me leave you with this:
A week from today is Thanksgiving. There is much to be thankful for.
And I think I've solved the TimBits dilemma.
HRG
Monday, September 03, 2007
The End of Our So-Called Summer
Hello my babies! Did everyone not living here on Fantasy Island enjoy their sumer? I'm sure we all would've loved it, if we'd had one. Two weeks of decent weather does not a "nice" summer make. Last year was amazing. This summer? Well.....it's Labour Day, let's do our best to remember the few and far between hot, sunny days as the promise of Fall rains looms before us. Maybe we'll be graced with an Indian Summer (is it still politically correct to call it that?). A few nice days isn't too much to ask is it?
All in all though, a few minor disappointments aside, it wasn't all that bad. The Cute Boy and I couldn't make the trip back east to visit his family and meet his grandson. I tried to make it up to him, probably failing miserably, but I did try. We travelled the Island a bit--TCB was seeing much of it for the first time. That was fun. Hanging out on the beach, basking in the blues on the patio at a great pub on a rare hot and very sunny day.....these were things that were fun. Rain was not fun. At all. It didn't allow HRG to worship the sun from her floaty thing. I may never get over it really.
And no. "The" question wasn't asked. At a party last nite, everyone kept referring to me as his wife. I know it's a generic term now for live-ins, but admittedly it stung a bit to hear it and know it'll never really be that way. It's something I have to learn to live with. The upside was the party was really fun. We laughed, saw friends, grazed from a fabulous buffet and enjoyed the general silliness of it all. Then the bottle of tequila emerged and HRG knew it was time to go. It's a restraining order thing. Tequila and HRG are never to be in the same room at the same time. Dangerous and very stupid things happen when the two are mixed. Tequila, triple sec and lime? Good Idea. Tequila, triple sec, lime and HRG? Bad Idea. Very Bad Idea.
Somewhere on this blog, some time long ago, I wrote that the road to hell was indeed paved with good intentions and that I wagered a fair bit were mine.
They are. All I wanted was to do something nice for people I really care about, to surprise them with something (or someone) that would bring sunshine into their grey worlds. Making sure it was doable was important--no need to get everyone's hopes up only for it not to happen after all. Schedules have to be juggled, holidays applied for (and approved), booking information needed--there were so many things just being talked about. The early stages of planning a surprise are usually such fun--it was nice to have something like this to look forward to.
Thing is, I made a fatal mistake. I allowed myself to get my hopes up. We all know what happens every time HRG gets her hopes up about something, don't we?
It doesn't happen.
I should've known better.
HRG
All in all though, a few minor disappointments aside, it wasn't all that bad. The Cute Boy and I couldn't make the trip back east to visit his family and meet his grandson. I tried to make it up to him, probably failing miserably, but I did try. We travelled the Island a bit--TCB was seeing much of it for the first time. That was fun. Hanging out on the beach, basking in the blues on the patio at a great pub on a rare hot and very sunny day.....these were things that were fun. Rain was not fun. At all. It didn't allow HRG to worship the sun from her floaty thing. I may never get over it really.
And no. "The" question wasn't asked. At a party last nite, everyone kept referring to me as his wife. I know it's a generic term now for live-ins, but admittedly it stung a bit to hear it and know it'll never really be that way. It's something I have to learn to live with. The upside was the party was really fun. We laughed, saw friends, grazed from a fabulous buffet and enjoyed the general silliness of it all. Then the bottle of tequila emerged and HRG knew it was time to go. It's a restraining order thing. Tequila and HRG are never to be in the same room at the same time. Dangerous and very stupid things happen when the two are mixed. Tequila, triple sec and lime? Good Idea. Tequila, triple sec, lime and HRG? Bad Idea. Very Bad Idea.
Somewhere on this blog, some time long ago, I wrote that the road to hell was indeed paved with good intentions and that I wagered a fair bit were mine.
They are. All I wanted was to do something nice for people I really care about, to surprise them with something (or someone) that would bring sunshine into their grey worlds. Making sure it was doable was important--no need to get everyone's hopes up only for it not to happen after all. Schedules have to be juggled, holidays applied for (and approved), booking information needed--there were so many things just being talked about. The early stages of planning a surprise are usually such fun--it was nice to have something like this to look forward to.
Thing is, I made a fatal mistake. I allowed myself to get my hopes up. We all know what happens every time HRG gets her hopes up about something, don't we?
It doesn't happen.
I should've known better.
HRG
Sunday, August 19, 2007
Excuse me? Mother Nature? We Need To Talk.
....because the calendar does so say it's June! Solstice has passed, the crops can't grow if there isn't equal parts rain and sun. Enough already!
Of course you do realize babies, in a month we'll all be bitchin' and whining about how hot it is.
Yes we will. We all know it.
...................................................................................
(found this post in the drafts folder--didn't even know it was there! It's good to know that stuff will automatically save in the event of a blue screen from death happening. Here's the thing...the date on that post is June 23...a month later we were bitching and whining about the heat. Yes we were. We all know it.)
So there.
HRG
Of course you do realize babies, in a month we'll all be bitchin' and whining about how hot it is.
Yes we will. We all know it.
...................................................................................
(found this post in the drafts folder--didn't even know it was there! It's good to know that stuff will automatically save in the event of a blue screen from death happening. Here's the thing...the date on that post is June 23...a month later we were bitching and whining about the heat. Yes we were. We all know it.)
So there.
HRG
Sunday, July 22, 2007
Sandwich Makers From Hell and other Stories From The Soggy Side
Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to mourn the loss of the season known as summer. Tragically taken from us at the tender age of two weeks, she will be missed by all.
Yesterday was an interesting day. What began as a trip to get supplies for the winter (because that's what it feels like outside these days) ran headon into a roadblock. All because of a chicken salad sandwich. From Hort Timmons. In truth, it's not the sandwich's fault. It was merely trying to be made. Without the trimmings--no lettuce or tomato or miscellaneous assorted other fillings--just chicken salad on brown bread. A simple task. Or so you'd think. Fifteen minutes after said sandwich was ordered and paid for, TCB emerges from the donut shoppe from hell, empty handed. He's seriously pissed off. That really low blood sugar level pissed off. The kind of pissed off that can't be reasoned with. We had a "Hollywood moment" which ended when HRG tossed her head, turned on her heel and set off to slay the sandwich maker. There was no choice, it was that or spend the afternoon IN THE CAR with low blood sugar man. Uh uh. That's a lesson learned long ago.
Here's how it all played out:
(HRG waits patiently in line to learn the fate of the sandwich)
(hrg): "Excuse me? (glances at the clock)
(hrg has shoes older than the teen-something girls behind the counter--and apparently more brain cells)
(girls): "Can we help you?"
(hrg): "Twenty minutes ago we ordered a chicken salad sandwich. Can I ask where the sandwich is?"
(it now involves FOUR staff to stare at a till to verify that the sandwich has indeed been bought and paid for)
(girls): "What did you order?"
(hrg exhales slowly realizing that there are far too many witnesses)
(hrg): "A chicken salad sandwich on brown with nothing on it but the chicken salad, a plain bagel and a low fat cranberry muffin (side note: it sucked big time and is only low-fat because half of it stuck to the f*****g muffin cup it was over-baked in) Can I ask why it would take this long to make a sandwich, or why no one seems to be able to get it right?"
(four, yes, four!! girls look at hrg like she's charlie brown's teacher)
(girls): "Ummmmmm......"
(hrg biting her tongue so hard it will need to be surgically reattached and making a concentrated effort to keep her tone even and quiet--it's a sandwich, no need to make a scene.)
(hrg): "Can you please just make the sandwich? No, nothing on it except the chicken. Just plain. Please."
(one girl slowly moves over to the prep area. once again she asks white or brown, stops and realizes that she doesn't have her gloves on. this process takes two minutes, the hows of putting on a simple pair of gloves are completely lost on her. she is interrupted by another employee, turns her back, ponders a response, has to go over to the iced drink machine, stare at it, shrug and walk away. returning to the sandwich making, she stops, stares at the open bun on the counter like she's forgotten what she was doing. picking up a container, frowning at it's contents, she again moseys along to get more. lines on concentration furrow her very young face, then she stops scooping from the new container, picks up the old one and is about to scrape it's contents onto the sandwich)
(hrg is bleeding from the mouth and is a heartbeat away from foaming
from it)
(hrg): "Please don't do that, I don't think putting the old stuff on top of the new stuff is a good idea. Do you? Would you eat it? I didn't think so."
(the sandwich is at last finished, wrapped and presented to hrg. hrg once again looks at the clock. exactly 25 minutes have passed. hrg emerges from the donut shoppe from hell, hands tcb his meal, waits patiently for the words thank you, realizes that she's not going to hear them, gets in the car and says nothing, which is a good thing because it's a moment, it'll pass--see? I am so learning. so there.)
It's important to point out that absolutely no one apologized for this fiasco. I'd also like to point out that an entire steak dinner can be prepared in the same amount of time it took to put a little bit of pre-made chicken salad between two pieces of bread.
I will never step foot into Hort Timmons again. Although it is nice of the company to hire those with few, if any, brain cells and absolutely no common sense.
Kinda like some of Hrg's ex-boyfriends.
HRG
Yesterday was an interesting day. What began as a trip to get supplies for the winter (because that's what it feels like outside these days) ran headon into a roadblock. All because of a chicken salad sandwich. From Hort Timmons. In truth, it's not the sandwich's fault. It was merely trying to be made. Without the trimmings--no lettuce or tomato or miscellaneous assorted other fillings--just chicken salad on brown bread. A simple task. Or so you'd think. Fifteen minutes after said sandwich was ordered and paid for, TCB emerges from the donut shoppe from hell, empty handed. He's seriously pissed off. That really low blood sugar level pissed off. The kind of pissed off that can't be reasoned with. We had a "Hollywood moment" which ended when HRG tossed her head, turned on her heel and set off to slay the sandwich maker. There was no choice, it was that or spend the afternoon IN THE CAR with low blood sugar man. Uh uh. That's a lesson learned long ago.
Here's how it all played out:
(HRG waits patiently in line to learn the fate of the sandwich)
(hrg): "Excuse me? (glances at the clock)
(hrg has shoes older than the teen-something girls behind the counter--and apparently more brain cells)
(girls): "Can we help you?"
(hrg): "Twenty minutes ago we ordered a chicken salad sandwich. Can I ask where the sandwich is?"
(it now involves FOUR staff to stare at a till to verify that the sandwich has indeed been bought and paid for)
(girls): "What did you order?"
(hrg exhales slowly realizing that there are far too many witnesses)
(hrg): "A chicken salad sandwich on brown with nothing on it but the chicken salad, a plain bagel and a low fat cranberry muffin (side note: it sucked big time and is only low-fat because half of it stuck to the f*****g muffin cup it was over-baked in) Can I ask why it would take this long to make a sandwich, or why no one seems to be able to get it right?"
(four, yes, four!! girls look at hrg like she's charlie brown's teacher)
(girls): "Ummmmmm......"
(hrg biting her tongue so hard it will need to be surgically reattached and making a concentrated effort to keep her tone even and quiet--it's a sandwich, no need to make a scene.)
(hrg): "Can you please just make the sandwich? No, nothing on it except the chicken. Just plain. Please."
(one girl slowly moves over to the prep area. once again she asks white or brown, stops and realizes that she doesn't have her gloves on. this process takes two minutes, the hows of putting on a simple pair of gloves are completely lost on her. she is interrupted by another employee, turns her back, ponders a response, has to go over to the iced drink machine, stare at it, shrug and walk away. returning to the sandwich making, she stops, stares at the open bun on the counter like she's forgotten what she was doing. picking up a container, frowning at it's contents, she again moseys along to get more. lines on concentration furrow her very young face, then she stops scooping from the new container, picks up the old one and is about to scrape it's contents onto the sandwich)
(hrg is bleeding from the mouth and is a heartbeat away from foaming
from it)
(hrg): "Please don't do that, I don't think putting the old stuff on top of the new stuff is a good idea. Do you? Would you eat it? I didn't think so."
(the sandwich is at last finished, wrapped and presented to hrg. hrg once again looks at the clock. exactly 25 minutes have passed. hrg emerges from the donut shoppe from hell, hands tcb his meal, waits patiently for the words thank you, realizes that she's not going to hear them, gets in the car and says nothing, which is a good thing because it's a moment, it'll pass--see? I am so learning. so there.)
It's important to point out that absolutely no one apologized for this fiasco. I'd also like to point out that an entire steak dinner can be prepared in the same amount of time it took to put a little bit of pre-made chicken salad between two pieces of bread.
I will never step foot into Hort Timmons again. Although it is nice of the company to hire those with few, if any, brain cells and absolutely no common sense.
Kinda like some of Hrg's ex-boyfriends.
HRG
Saturday, July 07, 2007
Seven Seven Seven
If you're superstitious (and even if you're not), today is considered to be very lucky. Much has been made of the whole triple 7s thing--books written, movies filmed, songs sung........ actually my very favorite song to sing is about it. "Feels like I'm rolling a seven, every time I roll the dice".
For someone very near and dear to HRGs heart, today is a triple seven day with an added bonus--it's his birthday!!! There are presents to open, food and cake to indulge in--there's even a parade in his honor. Of course there would be. He's worth it to more people than he thinks. So to you DTVCB (drum roll here) HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! I will be expecting pictures and lots of them at breakfast tomorrow. We're buying. You are definitely worth the $1.99 breakfast spread.
Holidays are winding down now, it's back to work bright and early Monday morning. Know something babies? I'm looking forward to going back. Or rather, I was. Then the forecast for the next seven (hey, there's that number again) days was broadcast and suddenly I'm not "feeling well" for Monday and Tuesday. Y'all know how much HRG loves to worship the sun and warmth. I'm sure an ex-bf or two would liken me to a lizard tho--cold blooded and loves to sleep on the warm rocks in the sun.
The time off has been good for my soul. In spite of the rocky start, it ended nicely. We've explored a bit of the Island, played music and just enjoyed ourselves and each other. We needed it. Big time.
Many odd reappearances have been happening. They leave me scratching my royally groovy head, and yes, there's definitely some hesitation here. Let's just see how it all plays out. Wish me luck tho babies, a happy ending in this case would be beyond fabulous.
For now, I think I'll enjoy the sun. It's been written that "there's really nothing quite so fine as lettin' the sun rejuvenate your mind".
It's true.
HRG
For someone very near and dear to HRGs heart, today is a triple seven day with an added bonus--it's his birthday!!! There are presents to open, food and cake to indulge in--there's even a parade in his honor. Of course there would be. He's worth it to more people than he thinks. So to you DTVCB (drum roll here) HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! I will be expecting pictures and lots of them at breakfast tomorrow. We're buying. You are definitely worth the $1.99 breakfast spread.
Holidays are winding down now, it's back to work bright and early Monday morning. Know something babies? I'm looking forward to going back. Or rather, I was. Then the forecast for the next seven (hey, there's that number again) days was broadcast and suddenly I'm not "feeling well" for Monday and Tuesday. Y'all know how much HRG loves to worship the sun and warmth. I'm sure an ex-bf or two would liken me to a lizard tho--cold blooded and loves to sleep on the warm rocks in the sun.
The time off has been good for my soul. In spite of the rocky start, it ended nicely. We've explored a bit of the Island, played music and just enjoyed ourselves and each other. We needed it. Big time.
Many odd reappearances have been happening. They leave me scratching my royally groovy head, and yes, there's definitely some hesitation here. Let's just see how it all plays out. Wish me luck tho babies, a happy ending in this case would be beyond fabulous.
For now, I think I'll enjoy the sun. It's been written that "there's really nothing quite so fine as lettin' the sun rejuvenate your mind".
It's true.
HRG
Thursday, July 05, 2007
Today In History
The sun is shining with the promise of an actual summer day, HRG's spirits are soaring with the promise of the beach. Believe it or not babies, but there are times when I truly am low maintenance. Seriously. Give me the sun, the beach, lake water to cool off in and a very Cute Boy any day!
There are a couple of birthdays that may or may not be worth mentioning today. The birth of Huey Lewis and the birth of the bittiest of beachwear--the bikini.
In honor of the bikini, HRG has hers on, raring to get going. It's always so scary, putting it on for the first time--will the ties on the side look like strings around a roast? Thankfully it looks not half bad, judging by The Cute Boy's reaction. I've been feeling a little less than "groovy" lately, the ego stroke was welcome.
To be honest, I've been a bit of a bitch over the last couple of days. So un-HRG-like. Making it up to The Cute Boy is in order in a big way.
And that's exactly what I'll do.
But first.....to the beach!!!
HRG
There are a couple of birthdays that may or may not be worth mentioning today. The birth of Huey Lewis and the birth of the bittiest of beachwear--the bikini.
In honor of the bikini, HRG has hers on, raring to get going. It's always so scary, putting it on for the first time--will the ties on the side look like strings around a roast? Thankfully it looks not half bad, judging by The Cute Boy's reaction. I've been feeling a little less than "groovy" lately, the ego stroke was welcome.
To be honest, I've been a bit of a bitch over the last couple of days. So un-HRG-like. Making it up to The Cute Boy is in order in a big way.
And that's exactly what I'll do.
But first.....to the beach!!!
HRG
Sunday, July 01, 2007
Happy Birthday Canada
Happy Canada Day my babies! I think we don't look too bad, considering that we're 140 years old today. Still, for a country we're fairly young, maybe we can put off the botox for another two or three hundred years.
As a nation we don't often flag wave or pat ourselves on the back and it would never, never, EVER, occur to us to brag about ourselves. We're quietly smug, like the Brits, only with better teeth. We take for granted where we live, the beauty that surrounds us is merely a part of our everyday lives. We have clean air, clean water (well mostly) and rights and freedoms that so many others are denied. Do we bitch and whine about our government? You bet. Yet in the big picture our high taxes pale in comparison to other countries.
Of course, the question of the day will be what it means to be Canadian. To me it means respect everywhere, from everyone (except one now waning "Superpower"). Travel outside of North America to see that firsthand. I can proudly wear our flag on my jacket without worry. Some flags close doors--with that quiet smugness I can assure you that our flag has most flinging the doors off their hinges, welcoming us with open arms. We are the world's referees. I'm proud of my country's refusal to get involved in what most feel is this generation's Vietnam. We keep the peace, we're not about to start bombing the innocents for oil. We have enough of our own thankyouverymuch. It's something else that separates us from those below the 49th--we make do with what we have, we don't exhaust our supply then turn around and take from someone else.
So today, look around you, breathe in all that fresh clean air and smile, knowing that we do indeed live in the greatest country in the world. No matter what our politics, as a nation we can look at ourselves in the mirror everyday without cringing.
My name is HRG and I am Canadian!
HRG
As a nation we don't often flag wave or pat ourselves on the back and it would never, never, EVER, occur to us to brag about ourselves. We're quietly smug, like the Brits, only with better teeth. We take for granted where we live, the beauty that surrounds us is merely a part of our everyday lives. We have clean air, clean water (well mostly) and rights and freedoms that so many others are denied. Do we bitch and whine about our government? You bet. Yet in the big picture our high taxes pale in comparison to other countries.
Of course, the question of the day will be what it means to be Canadian. To me it means respect everywhere, from everyone (except one now waning "Superpower"). Travel outside of North America to see that firsthand. I can proudly wear our flag on my jacket without worry. Some flags close doors--with that quiet smugness I can assure you that our flag has most flinging the doors off their hinges, welcoming us with open arms. We are the world's referees. I'm proud of my country's refusal to get involved in what most feel is this generation's Vietnam. We keep the peace, we're not about to start bombing the innocents for oil. We have enough of our own thankyouverymuch. It's something else that separates us from those below the 49th--we make do with what we have, we don't exhaust our supply then turn around and take from someone else.
So today, look around you, breathe in all that fresh clean air and smile, knowing that we do indeed live in the greatest country in the world. No matter what our politics, as a nation we can look at ourselves in the mirror everyday without cringing.
My name is HRG and I am Canadian!
HRG
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Kicking and Screaming........
.........is exactly how HRG was dragged into this century..........
But not by choice. The motherboard on my baby passed away, but not peacefully. Thankfully, The Cute Boy is a computer whiz and here I am! He even gave up one of his machines, installed the dreaded OS, copied ALL the data from the old hard drives to the new one. E-mail and everything else was saved! He's my hero, my knight in shining armour, my happily ever after. (hey, there's a song in there somewhere) Back in days of old the knight would slay a dragon--it was the measure of a man. Now it's a task as simple as being able to fix a computer problem. No sweating or bleeding involved. Not for most men anyway.
Of course there was some serious eyebrow lifting going on. Ok, so maybe I'm not as organized as I should be. There are exactly 4,774 messages in my e-mail folders. Most of them in the Inbox. It'll take hours to sort through them all. Who am I kidding? It'll take a day. Or two. Three tops.
This was not exactly how I'd planned to start my summer holidays.
But you know, it can wait. The promised rain has yet to fall, it's just cool enough to get started on the balcony. Flowers are starting to bloom in teeny tiny pots. Like HRG, they too need room to spread their wings. It's a new moon today too. I can't think of a better way to spend a day allbymyself than just digging in the dirt, focusing, sending all things good and new to all of you babies.
Can you?
HRG
But not by choice. The motherboard on my baby passed away, but not peacefully. Thankfully, The Cute Boy is a computer whiz and here I am! He even gave up one of his machines, installed the dreaded OS, copied ALL the data from the old hard drives to the new one. E-mail and everything else was saved! He's my hero, my knight in shining armour, my happily ever after. (hey, there's a song in there somewhere) Back in days of old the knight would slay a dragon--it was the measure of a man. Now it's a task as simple as being able to fix a computer problem. No sweating or bleeding involved. Not for most men anyway.
Of course there was some serious eyebrow lifting going on. Ok, so maybe I'm not as organized as I should be. There are exactly 4,774 messages in my e-mail folders. Most of them in the Inbox. It'll take hours to sort through them all. Who am I kidding? It'll take a day. Or two. Three tops.
This was not exactly how I'd planned to start my summer holidays.
But you know, it can wait. The promised rain has yet to fall, it's just cool enough to get started on the balcony. Flowers are starting to bloom in teeny tiny pots. Like HRG, they too need room to spread their wings. It's a new moon today too. I can't think of a better way to spend a day allbymyself than just digging in the dirt, focusing, sending all things good and new to all of you babies.
Can you?
HRG
Sunday, June 10, 2007
Stuff and Junk
Ok, the Universe has so shifted. Just look out the window. Is it warm? Sunny? Does the sky show promise of a clear blue day? No. No. No. Oh, it was all those things when HRG opened her bleary eyes (note to self: teach Charlie how to turn on the tap and feed himself) at a ridiculously early hour this morning. But now........sigh..............
Yesterday was a very interesting day. It was really hard, but HRG took a gianormous step forward. Well, in all honesty, tripping forward was more like it. The Cute Boy dragged me to the newest blues jam in town. The only jam in town actually. I was a-scared babies. It'd been so long since I'd seen any of those people. It was a good experience. It felt strange playing with someone who wasn't Mr Krusty and yes, it was a little uncomfortable. It went over well, although I'm not entirely sure why. Little Wing saving my ass would be a good bet. What caught me by surprise was being greeted so warmly by those I'd always thought would never forgive me for leaving the fold and following my muse. HRG also received a couple of verbal spankings for being away for so long. Lashes accepted.
Last nite was also interesting in so many different ways. We went to see Mr Krusty play with HTBP at the not-going-to-be-torn-down-after-all hockey rink. Two bands played, an hour each, alternating. It was really fun babies! Got completely tarted up, wore jeans, a black low cut sparkly shirt, tons of bling and dangerously high stilettos. Want to hear a secret? It was nice to see HTBP again, the jury is still out on the whole Mr Krusty thing, part of me had a mini pout moment thinking that it should've been ME up on the huge stage with them, but that's not the secret. The only cute boy in the room who had my total attention was The Cute Boy. I've heard about this sort of thing happening. I think it's called an epiphany. That moment when you realize that yes, you really understand what this love thing is all about. And you like it. A lot. I've yet to commit to a new couch or even one hair color, but baby steps, right?
There's more to prattle on about, I might even pop in and out during the day, but for now, I'm going to channel as much positive energy as possible to some people who are very important to HRG. They know who they are. They are stronger than they know or believe. Their inner strength, even when life hands them lemons too old to even use with a shot of tequila, is something to be respected and admired.
Even if they don't think so.
HRG
Yesterday was a very interesting day. It was really hard, but HRG took a gianormous step forward. Well, in all honesty, tripping forward was more like it. The Cute Boy dragged me to the newest blues jam in town. The only jam in town actually. I was a-scared babies. It'd been so long since I'd seen any of those people. It was a good experience. It felt strange playing with someone who wasn't Mr Krusty and yes, it was a little uncomfortable. It went over well, although I'm not entirely sure why. Little Wing saving my ass would be a good bet. What caught me by surprise was being greeted so warmly by those I'd always thought would never forgive me for leaving the fold and following my muse. HRG also received a couple of verbal spankings for being away for so long. Lashes accepted.
Last nite was also interesting in so many different ways. We went to see Mr Krusty play with HTBP at the not-going-to-be-torn-down-after-all hockey rink. Two bands played, an hour each, alternating. It was really fun babies! Got completely tarted up, wore jeans, a black low cut sparkly shirt, tons of bling and dangerously high stilettos. Want to hear a secret? It was nice to see HTBP again, the jury is still out on the whole Mr Krusty thing, part of me had a mini pout moment thinking that it should've been ME up on the huge stage with them, but that's not the secret. The only cute boy in the room who had my total attention was The Cute Boy. I've heard about this sort of thing happening. I think it's called an epiphany. That moment when you realize that yes, you really understand what this love thing is all about. And you like it. A lot. I've yet to commit to a new couch or even one hair color, but baby steps, right?
There's more to prattle on about, I might even pop in and out during the day, but for now, I'm going to channel as much positive energy as possible to some people who are very important to HRG. They know who they are. They are stronger than they know or believe. Their inner strength, even when life hands them lemons too old to even use with a shot of tequila, is something to be respected and admired.
Even if they don't think so.
HRG
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
No, Seriously.....
....it's only been a couple of days since you all devoured the trials and tribulations, and, let's face it, general whinings of HRG. It has not been more than a month! Your calendars are wrong, the Universe shifted and well, you know......
What I know is that so much life has been happening and somehow I made it through, with a little less sanity mind you, but when I opened my eyes this morning, the sky was blue. The weather is absolutely perfect, even the constant breeze coming in off the water (shut up DTVCB) is warm. Since there is no one available to take a long lunch with, puttering on the balcony is a reasonable alternative.
First and foremost--welcome home to my favorite world travellers!!!! They've packed more living into the past couple of months than all of us will do in a lifetime. Their souls needed to let go and have some fun, step out of their comfort zone, toss caution to the wind and just enjoy life for a change. Sure beats Life enjoying them, doesn't it? I can't wait to hear everything, and there's a story to be told about signed skins.....
Work and all related to it has been taking up so much time these days. Staffing shortages, severe ones, have had us going ninety in a fifty zone, but somehow we made it. Oooh and get this, HRG didn't turn into a raving screaming bitch! Seriously. The Cute Boy has been under and enormous amount of pressure at his job too, yet we made it through with no major arguments. Ok, so we might've had a "Hollywood Moment". We saw it happening, dealt with the stuff, laughed and had the most amazing make up sex. Maybe I shouldn't have said that. I can only imagine the looks on DTVCB and HH's faces at our next breakfast outing.
Part of this very busy time has also been spent in completely letting go of MBF. (sidenote: since he really isn't my best friend anymore, MBF will be referred to as Mr. Krusty from now on) Naively I thought that maybe, just maybe, we'd remain the good friends we'd always been. DTVCB was absolutely dead on the money here. Sometimes babies, the ties have to be cut, even if you have no clue who's holding the scissors. This time Mr. Krusty ran with them, cutting both of us. Messages go unanswered, music questions are avoided--you know the routine. The final thread will be broken at the end of June when he moves out of the building, into a new place, a new life with..........yup. Her. We'll call her Nancy--as in Sid & Nancy. I often wondered if the feelings Mr Krusty thought he had were really feelings of gratitude. Twice she destroyed him, emotionally and financially, twice I picked him up, dusted him off and saved him from himself. I wonder who'll be there to pick up the pieces this time? It won't be me babies. Nope. I've finally learned my lesson.
I miss him though, the friendship, the music, the comfortability of it all. It's sad to see all those years disappear. My heart is sad. Moving on can really suck sometimes, yaknow?
There are more stories to tell, witticisms to wow you with, however, a very cute boy is coming home for lunch. Time to release the Domestic Diva from her cage.
I hope he feels like Kraft Dinner.
HRG
What I know is that so much life has been happening and somehow I made it through, with a little less sanity mind you, but when I opened my eyes this morning, the sky was blue. The weather is absolutely perfect, even the constant breeze coming in off the water (shut up DTVCB) is warm. Since there is no one available to take a long lunch with, puttering on the balcony is a reasonable alternative.
First and foremost--welcome home to my favorite world travellers!!!! They've packed more living into the past couple of months than all of us will do in a lifetime. Their souls needed to let go and have some fun, step out of their comfort zone, toss caution to the wind and just enjoy life for a change. Sure beats Life enjoying them, doesn't it? I can't wait to hear everything, and there's a story to be told about signed skins.....
Work and all related to it has been taking up so much time these days. Staffing shortages, severe ones, have had us going ninety in a fifty zone, but somehow we made it. Oooh and get this, HRG didn't turn into a raving screaming bitch! Seriously. The Cute Boy has been under and enormous amount of pressure at his job too, yet we made it through with no major arguments. Ok, so we might've had a "Hollywood Moment". We saw it happening, dealt with the stuff, laughed and had the most amazing make up sex. Maybe I shouldn't have said that. I can only imagine the looks on DTVCB and HH's faces at our next breakfast outing.
Part of this very busy time has also been spent in completely letting go of MBF. (sidenote: since he really isn't my best friend anymore, MBF will be referred to as Mr. Krusty from now on) Naively I thought that maybe, just maybe, we'd remain the good friends we'd always been. DTVCB was absolutely dead on the money here. Sometimes babies, the ties have to be cut, even if you have no clue who's holding the scissors. This time Mr. Krusty ran with them, cutting both of us. Messages go unanswered, music questions are avoided--you know the routine. The final thread will be broken at the end of June when he moves out of the building, into a new place, a new life with..........yup. Her. We'll call her Nancy--as in Sid & Nancy. I often wondered if the feelings Mr Krusty thought he had were really feelings of gratitude. Twice she destroyed him, emotionally and financially, twice I picked him up, dusted him off and saved him from himself. I wonder who'll be there to pick up the pieces this time? It won't be me babies. Nope. I've finally learned my lesson.
I miss him though, the friendship, the music, the comfortability of it all. It's sad to see all those years disappear. My heart is sad. Moving on can really suck sometimes, yaknow?
There are more stories to tell, witticisms to wow you with, however, a very cute boy is coming home for lunch. Time to release the Domestic Diva from her cage.
I hope he feels like Kraft Dinner.
HRG
Saturday, April 14, 2007
Why, Just A Year Ago Today.......
I know this question has been asked a bajillion times already today, but seriously, where does the time go? Is it having a drink with the missing dryer sock? Laughing about how everyone in the world is looking for them. Damn Star Trek and it's transporters!
A year ago today, HRG prowled her bright and sunny upper one bedroom apartment, nervously cleaning and preening.....oh hell, why not admit it--we all know I was scared out of my mind! DTVCB was, I'm sure, happy that seat belts are law in this province. Hard to drive with a glowing HRG bouncing all over the place. He was even sweet enough to pretend to listen to incoherent ramblings.
We all know what happened then, don't we?
Today officially marks the end of being able to say "just think, a year ago today we were......"
It was supposed to rain. It's sunny and warm. Spring-like. Exactly like it was. You know. A year ago. Today.
Seriously, it's been a year of learning so many things. Imagine having your whole take on relationships and love (does it really exist?) change with the taking of a deep breath and clicking SEND. It's interesting and all so new to love someone who loves you back. Unconditionally. Like Charlie-Kitty. A full tummy and some stroking every now and again seems to work rather well. Is it really that simple?
The next question is, where do we go from here?
I have a feeling the answer to that is not quite as easy.
I think that maybe leaving it alone for a day or two is the best idea. You know, like a government thing. Ignore it and it'll go away.
Just for today we'll enjoy the sunshine and each other. No talk of anything serious. And definitely no more talk about "a year ago today...."
It's been a year ago. Today. It's no longer allowed.
You're welcome.
HRG
A year ago today, HRG prowled her bright and sunny upper one bedroom apartment, nervously cleaning and preening.....oh hell, why not admit it--we all know I was scared out of my mind! DTVCB was, I'm sure, happy that seat belts are law in this province. Hard to drive with a glowing HRG bouncing all over the place. He was even sweet enough to pretend to listen to incoherent ramblings.
We all know what happened then, don't we?
Today officially marks the end of being able to say "just think, a year ago today we were......"
It was supposed to rain. It's sunny and warm. Spring-like. Exactly like it was. You know. A year ago. Today.
Seriously, it's been a year of learning so many things. Imagine having your whole take on relationships and love (does it really exist?) change with the taking of a deep breath and clicking SEND. It's interesting and all so new to love someone who loves you back. Unconditionally. Like Charlie-Kitty. A full tummy and some stroking every now and again seems to work rather well. Is it really that simple?
The next question is, where do we go from here?
I have a feeling the answer to that is not quite as easy.
I think that maybe leaving it alone for a day or two is the best idea. You know, like a government thing. Ignore it and it'll go away.
Just for today we'll enjoy the sunshine and each other. No talk of anything serious. And definitely no more talk about "a year ago today...."
It's been a year ago. Today. It's no longer allowed.
You're welcome.
HRG
Sunday, April 08, 2007
It's My Party
...and I'll cry if I want to........
How could a day that started on such a happy and positive note go directly downhill? Sigh. HRG had a complete meltdown. On her birthday. The shame.
And yes, it was simply from complete disappointment. There's a part of me that believes The Cute Boy is simply not quite as sure as I am about this, our future together. It's not in what he says, it's in what he does. Or maybe this is the way it is, and all things considered, I should be happy. Auuurrgghhh. "Ok Enough With The Whining Already" is still on hiatus. Once again, there are no answers. Once again Fear patrols the perimeter of my heart, daring Doubt to let him in.
And like all men, The Cute Boy isn't talking.
See what happens when you get your hopes up? Don't even get me started about what happens when one raises the bar for Expectations.
And yes, hanging my head in shame, we all know why HRG is so disappointed.
No. He didn't ask. He didn't even give me anything that would be considered remotely personal. Maybe he's just that way, you know, not a "flowers and bling" kind of guy. Considering how absolutely wonderful he is in other areas, maybe I just need to suck it up and learn to live with it. Although I would like it noted that for the record, he is aware that I like flowers and bling. And it was my birthday.
But babies, today is another day, HRG shall shut up, put a smile on her face and count her blessings.
Let's all do that.
HRG
How could a day that started on such a happy and positive note go directly downhill? Sigh. HRG had a complete meltdown. On her birthday. The shame.
And yes, it was simply from complete disappointment. There's a part of me that believes The Cute Boy is simply not quite as sure as I am about this, our future together. It's not in what he says, it's in what he does. Or maybe this is the way it is, and all things considered, I should be happy. Auuurrgghhh. "Ok Enough With The Whining Already" is still on hiatus. Once again, there are no answers. Once again Fear patrols the perimeter of my heart, daring Doubt to let him in.
And like all men, The Cute Boy isn't talking.
See what happens when you get your hopes up? Don't even get me started about what happens when one raises the bar for Expectations.
And yes, hanging my head in shame, we all know why HRG is so disappointed.
No. He didn't ask. He didn't even give me anything that would be considered remotely personal. Maybe he's just that way, you know, not a "flowers and bling" kind of guy. Considering how absolutely wonderful he is in other areas, maybe I just need to suck it up and learn to live with it. Although I would like it noted that for the record, he is aware that I like flowers and bling. And it was my birthday.
But babies, today is another day, HRG shall shut up, put a smile on her face and count her blessings.
Let's all do that.
HRG
Sunday, March 11, 2007
Daylight Savings......
Because he couldn't think of a better way to piss off the ENTIRE world, ol' Georgie-boy decided to mess with time itself. Today we turned our clocks ahead, three weeks earlier than usual. The "brilliant" idea behind this is to conserve energy. Um. Yeah. Right. Want to know what the true end result of this absolute stupidity was? We get to see the relentless, driving rain for an hour longer. Those people who say things tell us that traffic accidents are lower when the time changes. No they're not. Dollars to donuts (that'd be the donut in the hand that's not holding a cel phone, all the while driving bleary-eyed with your knee) there are more accidents because messing with one's sleep schedule is not really conducive to bright eyed cheeriness, is it?
The day was not a total loss, despite the grogginess of the morning. The Cute Boy almost drove through a red light and everything. We had one of those "moments" when the person not driving realizes that the person who is, isn't slowing down for that red light. It scared me and yes babies, I actually semi-panicked. Freaking out is not HRG's style, however I will admit to, um, raising my voice and octave or two. We didn't argue, he said he really didn't see the light, so all was well.
We broke our Sunday Cute Boy/HRG only rule and had the most fabulous lunch with DTVCB and his crime fighting sidekick HH. My sandwich seemed to be very appealing to The Cute Boy. After he'd finished his of course. Oh, I probably could've eaten the last half, but what fun would that be? Now it's in the fridge...heh heh heh...
Before I go to guard the precious half sandwich, I'll leave you babies, with these words of wisdom:
The most relevant pieces of advice I received regarding marriage: You can only be as happy as the least happy person in the house, and two bathrooms are mandatory.
'Least that's what was written on my Starbucks cup.
HRG
The day was not a total loss, despite the grogginess of the morning. The Cute Boy almost drove through a red light and everything. We had one of those "moments" when the person not driving realizes that the person who is, isn't slowing down for that red light. It scared me and yes babies, I actually semi-panicked. Freaking out is not HRG's style, however I will admit to, um, raising my voice and octave or two. We didn't argue, he said he really didn't see the light, so all was well.
We broke our Sunday Cute Boy/HRG only rule and had the most fabulous lunch with DTVCB and his crime fighting sidekick HH. My sandwich seemed to be very appealing to The Cute Boy. After he'd finished his of course. Oh, I probably could've eaten the last half, but what fun would that be? Now it's in the fridge...heh heh heh...
Before I go to guard the precious half sandwich, I'll leave you babies, with these words of wisdom:
The most relevant pieces of advice I received regarding marriage: You can only be as happy as the least happy person in the house, and two bathrooms are mandatory.
'Least that's what was written on my Starbucks cup.
HRG
Sunday, March 04, 2007
Stuff and Junk
Oh babies, spring is in the air. Can't you feel it? Teeny tiny buds on trees, birds chirping and playing, the scent of early blooming flowers.........and the endless drone of the rain. Sigh. Yeah yeah yeah, I know, it could be what the rest of the country is getting, but to be honest, it doesn't make wringing oneself out every day any easier to deal with. Well it doesn't.
Life has settled into a routine here, and you know, it's a bit disconcerting. How do you keep things fresh and interesting? How do you keep that love alive? And why the hell didn't any of you warn me about what happens after you fall in love? Oh you all extolled the virtues of having that one incredibly special person at your side. You painted these wonderfully intriguing pictures of happily every after.......shame on you! Shame on me for buying into the whole thing.
Truth is babies, I'm afraid. Afraid of falling into a rut. Of becoming boring and uninteresting. Of taking The Cute Boy for granted. Of being taken for granted. Of being forgotten. Will he look at me a year from now and wonder if maybe he didn't rush into this whole thing? That maybe he should've taken some time for himself and be single a little while? There have been some musical changes happening too. Will they cause us to drift apart? There are no answers to these and other questions because "Ok, Enough With The Whining Already" is on hiatus.
There have been some other interesting turns of events here. Dare I say this out loud? Put it in print for the whole word to see? Ok...........here it is.........The Cute Boy is a.....he's a........well, here's the thing.......
He's a Grandfather.
And I'm HRG-Ma. No matter what DTVCB says.
HRG
Life has settled into a routine here, and you know, it's a bit disconcerting. How do you keep things fresh and interesting? How do you keep that love alive? And why the hell didn't any of you warn me about what happens after you fall in love? Oh you all extolled the virtues of having that one incredibly special person at your side. You painted these wonderfully intriguing pictures of happily every after.......shame on you! Shame on me for buying into the whole thing.
Truth is babies, I'm afraid. Afraid of falling into a rut. Of becoming boring and uninteresting. Of taking The Cute Boy for granted. Of being taken for granted. Of being forgotten. Will he look at me a year from now and wonder if maybe he didn't rush into this whole thing? That maybe he should've taken some time for himself and be single a little while? There have been some musical changes happening too. Will they cause us to drift apart? There are no answers to these and other questions because "Ok, Enough With The Whining Already" is on hiatus.
There have been some other interesting turns of events here. Dare I say this out loud? Put it in print for the whole word to see? Ok...........here it is.........The Cute Boy is a.....he's a........well, here's the thing.......
He's a Grandfather.
And I'm HRG-Ma. No matter what DTVCB says.
HRG
Sunday, February 18, 2007
I Just Don't Get It
I. Am. A. Moron.
Yes. Yes I am.
Did everyone have a nice Valentine's Day? I did. Instead of whining about what didn't happen, I need to focus on what was wonderful. The Cute Boy reserved a table at the restaurant where we had our first date. He was looking at me all googly-eyed and stuff. (this is where I should be ashamed of myself for being disappointed...bad HRG! Bad HRG!) He gave me a really nice card, a little bear and a box from Ben Moss. A big box. The earrings inside are really very pretty and "bling". I like them. It wasn't the bling I'd hoped for, but they're shiny things. I like shiny things. It made swallowing the disappointment easier. Oh wait, that was the white chocolate cheesecake. Nevermind.
It's in my nature to withdraw when there's too much stuff going on inside my heart. So last nite I put it out there and told The Cute Boy exactly how I felt. It felt good to say it. The truth is, most of the time I'm alright with the knowing the doesn't want to marry me. Life without him would be unthinkable...unbearable......if it has to be on his terms (in a manner of speaking), then most of the time I'm ok with it. But babies, there are times when it's all I can think about. It drives me crazy. I guess it's because there are so many impending marriages on the horizon that sometimes it's feels like someone's written "look HRG, everyone is getting married except YOU" in letters a bajillion feet high. That makes me scratch my head, wondering why the last thing I said I ever wanted to do is the one thing I now want most of all? Why can't I be happy with what I have?
These and other questions answered on the next episode of "Ok, enough with the whining already!"
HRG
Yes. Yes I am.
Did everyone have a nice Valentine's Day? I did. Instead of whining about what didn't happen, I need to focus on what was wonderful. The Cute Boy reserved a table at the restaurant where we had our first date. He was looking at me all googly-eyed and stuff. (this is where I should be ashamed of myself for being disappointed...bad HRG! Bad HRG!) He gave me a really nice card, a little bear and a box from Ben Moss. A big box. The earrings inside are really very pretty and "bling". I like them. It wasn't the bling I'd hoped for, but they're shiny things. I like shiny things. It made swallowing the disappointment easier. Oh wait, that was the white chocolate cheesecake. Nevermind.
It's in my nature to withdraw when there's too much stuff going on inside my heart. So last nite I put it out there and told The Cute Boy exactly how I felt. It felt good to say it. The truth is, most of the time I'm alright with the knowing the doesn't want to marry me. Life without him would be unthinkable...unbearable......if it has to be on his terms (in a manner of speaking), then most of the time I'm ok with it. But babies, there are times when it's all I can think about. It drives me crazy. I guess it's because there are so many impending marriages on the horizon that sometimes it's feels like someone's written "look HRG, everyone is getting married except YOU" in letters a bajillion feet high. That makes me scratch my head, wondering why the last thing I said I ever wanted to do is the one thing I now want most of all? Why can't I be happy with what I have?
These and other questions answered on the next episode of "Ok, enough with the whining already!"
HRG
Saturday, February 10, 2007
It's Official
HRG is indeed the only person who did not know that Scooby Do was a Great Dane. I always thought he was just, well, you know, a "dawg". Apparently not. Sorry Ruby.
I did know that Snoopy was a Beagle though. That should count for something. Shouldn't it?
HRG
I did know that Snoopy was a Beagle though. That should count for something. Shouldn't it?
HRG
Thursday, February 08, 2007
Did You Know.....
.....that Scooby Doo was a Great Dane?
Neither did HRG.
Three little kids on Jeopardy did.
Sigh.
HRG
Neither did HRG.
Three little kids on Jeopardy did.
Sigh.
HRG
Sunday, February 04, 2007
On A More Positive Note
Happy Birthday to the ever mysterious and therefore appropriately named Mystery Mama. I hope your day is even half as fabulous as you are!!!!!
HRG
HRG
Toothaches and Sexy Squirrels
This has certainly been a week of testing HRG's pain threshold. Apparently it's quite high. Physically and emotionally.
Suffered through the last three days of the week and now the offending wisdom tooth is gone gone gone. So is the pain.
The Cute Boy came home, we had a magical reunion.
He hasn't touched me since. Even tonite when he was "tired" (again--I get the message. Losing a wisdom tooth didn't make me stupid), he still managed to find something "interesting" on tv and had the energy to stay up until 1:30 a.m.
Know what babies? I wish the toothache would come back. It didn't hurt as much as knowing HRG has the sex appeal of a squirrel.
Pass the peanuts willya?
HRG
Suffered through the last three days of the week and now the offending wisdom tooth is gone gone gone. So is the pain.
The Cute Boy came home, we had a magical reunion.
He hasn't touched me since. Even tonite when he was "tired" (again--I get the message. Losing a wisdom tooth didn't make me stupid), he still managed to find something "interesting" on tv and had the energy to stay up until 1:30 a.m.
Know what babies? I wish the toothache would come back. It didn't hurt as much as knowing HRG has the sex appeal of a squirrel.
Pass the peanuts willya?
HRG
Monday, January 22, 2007
Padding Around and Pondering
Ok, so HRG has been left to her own devices for an indefinite period of time. It's ok, this week will be easier than last. This is, I've never actually missed anyone like this. Oh, it's not as bad as when we began because he lives here, and while there certainly is uncertainty as to which direction we're going, it's definitely more secure. Still, it's very quiet and quite frankly, boring, without LDK. I miss his laugh and smile.
Been thinking about MBF a lot these days. I miss the friendship more than I thought. With LDK away, hanging out, watching a hockey game or two with MBF would've been nice. Like the old days. But everything is different now. He's made some very unwise choices, most of them puzzling, but then again, that was always something I had a hard time accepting about him. His need to re-visit the past and fix it, or at the very least prove he wasn't at fault. His need to play the martyr was another issue. But he's where he is and that's that.
And onto other things..........
Both DTVCB and HH honored HRG with their presence last week. Lunch was at turns interesting and hilarious. In the midst of it all, an interesting question was posed. Would you sign a pre-nuptial agreement (of sorts), giving up all your worldly possessions if you walk away from the marriage? When I said no, DTVCB countered with if you say no, then it means you aren't ready to make the commitment. I see his point--to a point. To my way of thinking, such a pre-nup wouldn't be an issue because I wouldn't be going into it with the thought that it might fail. Given that HRG may very well be the original inspiration for the Runaway Bride, that I would want to marry LDK as much as I do should speak volumes. I'm ready to make the commitment. I'm ready to share all my worldly possessions with LDK (who shall be known from now on as The Cute Boy). Yes, I'm well aware there are no absolutes, no guarantees, but in spite of everything, break ups happen. It's important to remember not to lump "us" all together. Some of "us" actually play fair when things end.
And, believe it or not, some of "us" DO believe in happily-ever-after.
Even me.
HRG
Been thinking about MBF a lot these days. I miss the friendship more than I thought. With LDK away, hanging out, watching a hockey game or two with MBF would've been nice. Like the old days. But everything is different now. He's made some very unwise choices, most of them puzzling, but then again, that was always something I had a hard time accepting about him. His need to re-visit the past and fix it, or at the very least prove he wasn't at fault. His need to play the martyr was another issue. But he's where he is and that's that.
And onto other things..........
Both DTVCB and HH honored HRG with their presence last week. Lunch was at turns interesting and hilarious. In the midst of it all, an interesting question was posed. Would you sign a pre-nuptial agreement (of sorts), giving up all your worldly possessions if you walk away from the marriage? When I said no, DTVCB countered with if you say no, then it means you aren't ready to make the commitment. I see his point--to a point. To my way of thinking, such a pre-nup wouldn't be an issue because I wouldn't be going into it with the thought that it might fail. Given that HRG may very well be the original inspiration for the Runaway Bride, that I would want to marry LDK as much as I do should speak volumes. I'm ready to make the commitment. I'm ready to share all my worldly possessions with LDK (who shall be known from now on as The Cute Boy). Yes, I'm well aware there are no absolutes, no guarantees, but in spite of everything, break ups happen. It's important to remember not to lump "us" all together. Some of "us" actually play fair when things end.
And, believe it or not, some of "us" DO believe in happily-ever-after.
Even me.
HRG
Scene from a Donut Shoppe
Just have to share this little timbit, er I mean, tidbit with you babies. It's too incredulously funny not to.
The scene plays out like this:
(camera pans slowly across a crowded Food Court in a typically suburban shopping mall)
Woman glances nervously at her watch and counts the people in front of her. She's fifth in line and if that employee would speed it up just a little, she won't be late for work. She finally reaches the head of the line:
"Hi, can I have a large black coffee please?"
"I'm sorry, there's no more coffee in this line. You'll have to get into the other line. (she points to a much longer line on the left)
"Excuse me?"
"There's no more coffee in this line, you'll have to go over to the other one"
"Can't you just walk over there and pour me a coffee?"
"No. I can't. We're not allowed."
(woman realizes the employee is being serious and walks away, sans coffee, shaking her head.)
Yes, this really happened. The woman it happened to is not prone to exaggeration. We laughed ourselves silly, smug in the knowing that this would never happen at our favorite coffee spot MegaBucks.
It could've only happened at Hort Timmons.
HRG
The scene plays out like this:
(camera pans slowly across a crowded Food Court in a typically suburban shopping mall)
Woman glances nervously at her watch and counts the people in front of her. She's fifth in line and if that employee would speed it up just a little, she won't be late for work. She finally reaches the head of the line:
"Hi, can I have a large black coffee please?"
"I'm sorry, there's no more coffee in this line. You'll have to get into the other line. (she points to a much longer line on the left)
"Excuse me?"
"There's no more coffee in this line, you'll have to go over to the other one"
"Can't you just walk over there and pour me a coffee?"
"No. I can't. We're not allowed."
(woman realizes the employee is being serious and walks away, sans coffee, shaking her head.)
Yes, this really happened. The woman it happened to is not prone to exaggeration. We laughed ourselves silly, smug in the knowing that this would never happen at our favorite coffee spot MegaBucks.
It could've only happened at Hort Timmons.
HRG
Sunday, January 14, 2007
Face It Kid
There's a scene in Sex and the City (which we all know is HRG's very favorite show) where Carrie and Big are doing their emotional "dance" in the back of a taxi. Carrie is telling him she's engaged to Aiden. Big scoffs at this and says "face it Kid, you're not the marrying kind".
That'd be me. Except that the exchange didn't happen in the back of a cab, HRG certainly isn't engaged to anyone and the scene played out more like this:
LDK and HRG hanging out on the couch, watching Jeopardy, a commercial for a wedding fair comes on, the voice over begins with "getting married, or planning to?" The first word out of LDK's mouth was NO. He actually said it over the announcer's voice. Ouch. No I didn't say a word or even allow a hint of the beating my heart was taking show. So, I'm facing it, slowly. Ouch. I understand how a cute boy or two from my past may have actually loved me enough to want to make that commitment, only to have to suffer an emotional ass kicking by my own indifference. It makes my heart hurt to think I might've hurt someone in that way. It's a sad and painful lesson.
Life is bittersweet these days. Work is going very well. It's been two years now, my last job review was glowing to say the least and they even gave me a raise! My relationship with J is back on track--much like his mum, he had to go his own way for awhile to try to make sense of things. Underneath it all though, is so much sadness, so much pain. Knowing that this visit with Dad was the last one..............I've cried so many tears. It's too hard and he's too young.
And through it all, I feel so alone. With no one to talk to. I've always tried to set whatever aside to be there for my friends whenever they needed to unload, a shoulder to lean on, a set of non-judgmental ears to listen. Here's the thing, now it's HRG who needs those things, and well, no one seems to have the time to just listen. Others have their own disappointments, so I suppose I should try harder to understand. One thing that pains is not having heard from Mystery Mama in months. Wondering it she's pissed because I didn't answer her last e-mail rant about her own cute boy. I'm sorry, I had to take some time to deal with things. I'd reached out and was dismissed. Sorry.
Babies, I'm getting pissy, so it's time to go. Maybe one day at a time is the secret.
And maybe someday.......................
HRG
That'd be me. Except that the exchange didn't happen in the back of a cab, HRG certainly isn't engaged to anyone and the scene played out more like this:
LDK and HRG hanging out on the couch, watching Jeopardy, a commercial for a wedding fair comes on, the voice over begins with "getting married, or planning to?" The first word out of LDK's mouth was NO. He actually said it over the announcer's voice. Ouch. No I didn't say a word or even allow a hint of the beating my heart was taking show. So, I'm facing it, slowly. Ouch. I understand how a cute boy or two from my past may have actually loved me enough to want to make that commitment, only to have to suffer an emotional ass kicking by my own indifference. It makes my heart hurt to think I might've hurt someone in that way. It's a sad and painful lesson.
Life is bittersweet these days. Work is going very well. It's been two years now, my last job review was glowing to say the least and they even gave me a raise! My relationship with J is back on track--much like his mum, he had to go his own way for awhile to try to make sense of things. Underneath it all though, is so much sadness, so much pain. Knowing that this visit with Dad was the last one..............I've cried so many tears. It's too hard and he's too young.
And through it all, I feel so alone. With no one to talk to. I've always tried to set whatever aside to be there for my friends whenever they needed to unload, a shoulder to lean on, a set of non-judgmental ears to listen. Here's the thing, now it's HRG who needs those things, and well, no one seems to have the time to just listen. Others have their own disappointments, so I suppose I should try harder to understand. One thing that pains is not having heard from Mystery Mama in months. Wondering it she's pissed because I didn't answer her last e-mail rant about her own cute boy. I'm sorry, I had to take some time to deal with things. I'd reached out and was dismissed. Sorry.
Babies, I'm getting pissy, so it's time to go. Maybe one day at a time is the secret.
And maybe someday.......................
HRG
Sunday, January 07, 2007
WTF?
I hate rain. And wind. And being cold. And being kept up most of the nite by the incessant pounding and howling. Figures HRG would have a cat who's afraid of storms.
All of this, plus thoughts HRG cannot get rid of have me going quietly about her life, quietly out of her mind. How much of what I read into things is merely old patterns of expected behaviour and why am I reading into things anyway?? That's what driving me out of my mind. Quietly of course.
Then I made a mistake.
I told LDK what was niggling at me. I should've kept my mouth shut because it feels like things have changed a little. It was silly and ultimately made him feel really bad which in turn made me feel worse. At what point did I start thinking that something sparkly and shiny was proof of undying love and devotion? WTF? Where is all this coming from? Is it that Fear is so frustrated with Doubt not opening the door to my heart it's simply decided to run my mouth instead? Does this all stem from never quite feeling good enough to think that maybe, just maybe, HRG actually might be someone's happily ever after? LDK is the most amazing man!! I want to be perfect all the time. There is something so very wrong with that. It's too much pressure, it's too hard. It'll kill us. So if I know this is a bad thing, why can't I stop? Help me babies!
HRG
All of this, plus thoughts HRG cannot get rid of have me going quietly about her life, quietly out of her mind. How much of what I read into things is merely old patterns of expected behaviour and why am I reading into things anyway?? That's what driving me out of my mind. Quietly of course.
Then I made a mistake.
I told LDK what was niggling at me. I should've kept my mouth shut because it feels like things have changed a little. It was silly and ultimately made him feel really bad which in turn made me feel worse. At what point did I start thinking that something sparkly and shiny was proof of undying love and devotion? WTF? Where is all this coming from? Is it that Fear is so frustrated with Doubt not opening the door to my heart it's simply decided to run my mouth instead? Does this all stem from never quite feeling good enough to think that maybe, just maybe, HRG actually might be someone's happily ever after? LDK is the most amazing man!! I want to be perfect all the time. There is something so very wrong with that. It's too much pressure, it's too hard. It'll kill us. So if I know this is a bad thing, why can't I stop? Help me babies!
HRG
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