Good Morning my babies. Before we begin, a gianormous thanks to all of you for your thoughts and concerns. It's been a strange week, to say the least. One loss has rocked HRG to her groovy core, the other has brought about quiet celebration.
Today we'll talk about the loss. I've ranted and written over the past five years about bi-polar man. He was so very hard on me at work. To his credit, once his bullying behaviour was addressed, he tearfully apologized and tried harder not to be so hard on me. Most of the time he did ok. I understood him. It didn't always make it right, people wondered why I stayed, and truthfully, sometimes I wondered that myself. The ups were wonderful, and inside was a good man who came from very dysfunctional beginnings. Had that side of him not been shown, then I'd have left the store two years before it closed. Given all that, that his sudden death hit me so hard still has me scratching this groovy head (note to self, remembered to scratch both sides so the dents are even). Hearing the news, feeling the despair in Carole's voice as she told me..........
I'm glad our last meeting was a happy one. Breakfast, just the four of us, lots of laughter and catching up done. We had no issues between us, Joe and I. Nothing left unsaid, forgiveness asked and unhesitatingly given. He was an important part of my life. He was in turns my employer, my mentor and my friend. In a very strange way, it feels like my own father has died. I can't explain it really.
I'd like to share some words of wisdom with you:
"I think it makes sense. Sometimes we get wired up to people we work with or work for. Even though things were tough at times I think he respected you alot and, in your own way, you respected him as well. I think he set high standards for you and you will carry those with you always. It’s made you a better employee and an excellent manager. That’s alot of influence in it’s own subtle way. I know that if my first boss, Garth, were to leave us it would affect me alot. He set very high standards for me that I still carry as part of my work ethic to this day, and I have always respected him for having that much confidence in me. I suspect it is the same for you with Joe."
That's what TCB said. He's right.
I was asked to sing at Joe's memorial yesterday. It was what he'd wanted. It was SO hard, I cut the song short (in a way that no one would know. I had to stop before the tears came--I was wearing "waterproof" mascara and the flowers below were white. Black smudges just simply wouldn't do!) Afterwards, Carole hugged me so hard and said "Thank you, the song was perfect and it was the fitting end to the service. Joe would've been so happy and proud."
The song? Ain't No Sunshine. Performed a capella. TCB was supposed to sit in on bass, just adding subtle tones, but funny thing, suddenly there was no power going to the outlet where he'd plugged in. Yes, it had been tested before the service started. I guess Joe just wanted to hear me. I can live with that.
I'll miss him.
HRG
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Saturday, July 11, 2009
No Time Left For You (or you or you or you)
Good Morning My Babies!
After a few days of badly needed rain, the sunshine returns. After several years of living with the bitchy La Nina, her much calmer brother, El Nino has settled in. Much like HRG, El Nino loves the sun and the warm temperatures. Gracias! There will be no beaching it today though. The sting is finally gone from the back of my legs, but the redness and tenderness remain. Therefore, no over exposure to the sun. It's not worth the pain.
Maybe tomorrow.
Today we'll talk about time. How fast it flies, how there is never enough of it......
Through the grapevine I hear that the middle critter of DTVCB will be married today. This is wonderful news. It's a shame we all can't be there to celebrate. I remember when the soon-to-be newlyweds first met, how sweet it was to see them holding hands, walking across the parking lot at the megaboxstupidstore we all worked at. It seems like yesterday, not more than five years ago now. This is the example of how time flies. They are a terrific couple and I wish them many years of happiness. I only hope that DTVCB is included and not shut out. Whether he still speaks to me or not, I will always consider both him and his furry sidekick as my friends, and never wish anything bad on them. This should be a day of love and happiness.
There's also been some talk about HRG's lack of communication. Let's walk through my average day, shall we?
6 a.m.
The alarm beeps, one or two kitties are there to pull back the covers (no hitting the snooze button when they're hungry). HRG's feet hit the floor, headed towards the kitchen. Coffee is made. Straightener plugged in and warmed up. Sipping fresh coffee, fighting with this mop called hair, trying to read messages and the paper at the same time. HRG, the Queen of MultiTasking.
6:40 a.m.
Shower, make up, get dressed. Working with the public means always looking good. No hair in pony tail, makeupless face or putting on whatever is handy.
7:05 a.m.
Make a fresh pot of coffee, wake TCB. Put dishes away, tidy up, go outside to water the garden (unless TCB is in the shower, in which case HRG has 15 minutes to answer an e-mail or leave a FB note)
7:40 a.m.
Double check food and water, it's hot and the critters will need fresh water all day. Get workstuff together, get in the car and go.
8:10 a.m.
Early morning city traffic is a bitch. Seems we all take the same "shortcut" to work. TCB drops me off, I walk the rest of the way. It's the only alone time I get every day. Fifteen minutes. Wow. This is the time I use to learn new material. I get no time to actually rehearse it.
8:25 a.m.
Keys in hand, the door to the store in unlocked, alarm turned off and HRG's workday begins.
6 p.m.
TCB is waiting to take me home. Like Mystery Mama, my day is spent on my feet (no sitting down at all!) lifting boxes, up and down ladders, moving, moving, moving. Anyone interested in knowing exactly how HRG manages to stay a trim size one outta do my job for a week.
6:30 p.m.
The same early morning traffic takes the same "shortcut" home at nite. Twenty or thirty minutes in the car beats an hour on the bus by a long shot. It's almost an hour on the bus from the mall where I work to home. Check the transit schedule.
7 p.m.
The great dinner discussion has taken place, now it's cooking.
7:30 p.m.
Eat. Watch Jeopardy with TCB.
8:00 p.m.
Drag the lawnmower out and deal with the grass and weeds. Water (and lightly weed) the gardens.
8:30 p.m.
Exhaustion has set in, but there's laundry to be done, after dinner clean up, paperwork.......
9:30 p.m.
HRG is zombie. Close my eyes, just for a minute and then......
6 a.m.
The alarm beeps and it all begins again.......
On rehearsal nites, just skip the whole coming home and having dinner part. Those nites it's picked up after work, meet up with our drummer and go. Dinner (or a sad excuse for one) is usually eaten around ten thirty(ish), if at all.
In all of this, I'm trying to find the energy to keep my marriage alive, maintain friendships and in short, be all things to everyone.
I'm doing the best I can.
As always, it's just not good enough.
HRG
After a few days of badly needed rain, the sunshine returns. After several years of living with the bitchy La Nina, her much calmer brother, El Nino has settled in. Much like HRG, El Nino loves the sun and the warm temperatures. Gracias! There will be no beaching it today though. The sting is finally gone from the back of my legs, but the redness and tenderness remain. Therefore, no over exposure to the sun. It's not worth the pain.
Maybe tomorrow.
Today we'll talk about time. How fast it flies, how there is never enough of it......
Through the grapevine I hear that the middle critter of DTVCB will be married today. This is wonderful news. It's a shame we all can't be there to celebrate. I remember when the soon-to-be newlyweds first met, how sweet it was to see them holding hands, walking across the parking lot at the megaboxstupidstore we all worked at. It seems like yesterday, not more than five years ago now. This is the example of how time flies. They are a terrific couple and I wish them many years of happiness. I only hope that DTVCB is included and not shut out. Whether he still speaks to me or not, I will always consider both him and his furry sidekick as my friends, and never wish anything bad on them. This should be a day of love and happiness.
There's also been some talk about HRG's lack of communication. Let's walk through my average day, shall we?
6 a.m.
The alarm beeps, one or two kitties are there to pull back the covers (no hitting the snooze button when they're hungry). HRG's feet hit the floor, headed towards the kitchen. Coffee is made. Straightener plugged in and warmed up. Sipping fresh coffee, fighting with this mop called hair, trying to read messages and the paper at the same time. HRG, the Queen of MultiTasking.
6:40 a.m.
Shower, make up, get dressed. Working with the public means always looking good. No hair in pony tail, makeupless face or putting on whatever is handy.
7:05 a.m.
Make a fresh pot of coffee, wake TCB. Put dishes away, tidy up, go outside to water the garden (unless TCB is in the shower, in which case HRG has 15 minutes to answer an e-mail or leave a FB note)
7:40 a.m.
Double check food and water, it's hot and the critters will need fresh water all day. Get workstuff together, get in the car and go.
8:10 a.m.
Early morning city traffic is a bitch. Seems we all take the same "shortcut" to work. TCB drops me off, I walk the rest of the way. It's the only alone time I get every day. Fifteen minutes. Wow. This is the time I use to learn new material. I get no time to actually rehearse it.
8:25 a.m.
Keys in hand, the door to the store in unlocked, alarm turned off and HRG's workday begins.
6 p.m.
TCB is waiting to take me home. Like Mystery Mama, my day is spent on my feet (no sitting down at all!) lifting boxes, up and down ladders, moving, moving, moving. Anyone interested in knowing exactly how HRG manages to stay a trim size one outta do my job for a week.
6:30 p.m.
The same early morning traffic takes the same "shortcut" home at nite. Twenty or thirty minutes in the car beats an hour on the bus by a long shot. It's almost an hour on the bus from the mall where I work to home. Check the transit schedule.
7 p.m.
The great dinner discussion has taken place, now it's cooking.
7:30 p.m.
Eat. Watch Jeopardy with TCB.
8:00 p.m.
Drag the lawnmower out and deal with the grass and weeds. Water (and lightly weed) the gardens.
8:30 p.m.
Exhaustion has set in, but there's laundry to be done, after dinner clean up, paperwork.......
9:30 p.m.
HRG is zombie. Close my eyes, just for a minute and then......
6 a.m.
The alarm beeps and it all begins again.......
On rehearsal nites, just skip the whole coming home and having dinner part. Those nites it's picked up after work, meet up with our drummer and go. Dinner (or a sad excuse for one) is usually eaten around ten thirty(ish), if at all.
In all of this, I'm trying to find the energy to keep my marriage alive, maintain friendships and in short, be all things to everyone.
I'm doing the best I can.
As always, it's just not good enough.
HRG
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