It's Been A Long Time....

....been a long time, been a long and lonely, lonely, lonely.............. time

Yes it has. Good morning babies. While the sun plays hide and seek with the clouds, perhaps putting down some of the bajillions thoughts that run through my mind might be a good way to pass the time. Let's pour a cup and chat awhile, ok?

This self-imposed exile has made me realize that this hasn't been about me, about something being so wrong with me that he'd step outside looking for what I couldn't give him. It's a normal reaction, to blame yourself when infidelity happens. It's also been said that it takes two to make or break it, somehow implying that had I'd been a better woman, he wouldn't have strayed. Bullshit! There's nothing wrong with me, this is about his choices, his immaturity. This new knowledge, or rather the acceptance of it, really is helping me learn how to be me again. I miss her, the HRG persona. The flirty fun side of me that has been held hostage by Fear and Doubt for far too long. It is ok to flirt, it's knowing when not to cross the line. Thank you Mystery Mama, for reminding me of that. I've always said that you don't sleep with them all, you just made them wish you had. Time for Dr. HRG to take a little of her own advice, don't you think babies?

It's taken awhile to find my footing again. I still falter from time to time, like the complete meltdown of last week. Hanging my groovy head and admitting that it was completely my fault just doesn't seem like enough. Yes babies, HRG was out of line. TCB wore what was the last of the rage and hurt and this time, had done nothing to deserve it. Well, in all fairness, he was awake and breathing.....

I've also learned that even though I've been done with "that" for years now, apparently PMS isn't removed from the equation. The cravings (gimme that gianormous bag of Lay's Wavy and keep your fingers out of the way!!), moodiness, extreme emotional crap, well, let's just say TCB didn't stand a chance. And he didn't know what hit him. Poor bastard. It seems so unfair to have the symptoms, but not the end result. At least one could garner a little sympathy, maybe even some forgiveness for being such a complete bitch if one were, oh I don't know, lying on the couch, eating chips and bleeding to death.

Speaking of bleeding to death, did you know that weeds do that? Bleed to death I mean. The weeds are moving slowly towards the house now, shoulder to shoulder in a show of solidarity. Surely they all won't fall victim to the Claws of the Kicker.

Yes. Yes, they will.

Let's add mass murderer to the list of HRG's many, many talents.

HRG