...of HRG is never boring....not ever.......
We played a government Christmas party last nite. It was great to score the gig, although HRG knew that her usual stage garb wasn't going to cut it for this. So, yesterday over lunch, I went shopping. It took all of 20 minutes to find the PERFECT dress. Red, slinky, flirty, very *me*. Of course. Would I wear anything else?
So, the nite went like this:
MBF picks me up after work. I have exactly ONE hour to get ready. Deciding on a dress at the last second meant a longer shower, shaving of legs was mandatory.
Exactly ONE HOUR later, MBF is buzzing--it's time to go.
Won't admit this to anyone but you--I was nervous.
Walk into the Marriot Hotel (did I mention this was a classy gig?), jacket wrapped tightly around me. Even MBF hasn't felt the full effect of the dress yet. Nope, I want to make an entrance.
Go upstairs to the room we're playing. Meet the woman who booked us. Tall, young, VERY cute boy is standing beside her. He smiles down at me and says "Nice". Oh yeah.
Speeches finally end (because you know, nothing involving government ever starts on time). Fake our way through the first song--a request that none of us had ever played before. Obviously enough wine was consumed during dinner to loosen up those dancing legs. They're dancing from the first song.
Feel myself start to relax, knowing it's going to be a great time. Hey, with that dress how could it be anything but? MBF is drooling. Married sub-bass player is drooling. Drummer is drooling, but then again, that's what drummers do anyway.
During the second song I scan the crowd and then I see him. The nice (read:boring) Englishman is there! Oh no!!!!! Talk about your proverbial *awkward moment*. MBF knows nothing about the dating thing and doesn't need to. Am shaking inside, wondering what the Englishman's attitude is going to be.
Set one ends. Try to sneak out before he sees me. Hard to do in the red dress, but what the hell, it was worth a try. This is payback. We all know I didn't buy that dress to be unnoticed.
No such luck. He spots me and calls out my name. I want to pretend I didn't hear him, but now he's positioned himself RIGHT BESIDE THE EXIT DOOR. Oh no. There's no escape. Smiling, I slink my way over. Might as well let him see what his stodgy ways *cost* him. Bitchy I know, but......
Then it happens. He introduces me to his date. It went like this:
"HRG! Nice to see you, you look (pause as he fumbles for words that won't piss his date off)
amazing. Great to get a chance to see you play."
(The Englishman glances over at MBF)
"Is that the same guitar player you were telling me about?"
Still smiling, HRG replies:
"Yes, that's my guitar player and MBF"
"And the most important person in your life?"
Don't know what he read into my smile and nod, but it was enough for him to very cattily add:
"It's so blatantly obvious that's him..."
Deftly changing the subject, I turn on the charm and ask to be introduced to his date (who is looking very uncomfortable and a little unhappy by now). And then he committed the ultimate faux pas.....
"HRG, I'd like you to meet HRG" We don't share the same first name by a long shot.
Sexy red dress: $38.00
Black stilettoes: $35
Look on the Englishman's date's face: Priceless
Who knew an awkward silence could last SO long? He went home early, she went home with a young, very cute boy. Atta girl.
There were many cute boys of all ages to flirt publicly with, the food was great, the pay good, the Deputy Minister tipped us $100. His Aide fell all over herself to stress it was his own money and didn't come from public coffers. Since technically part of his paycheque comes from the taxes I pay...well, you get the point. Regardless, we walked out of there adored, well fed, well paid and looking forward to the bookings that will come from this.
Right now I have to go kill the cat. Why does she think the table is a Lucy place? She's grey and fluffy. About the size of a pair of mittens.....
HRG
